Trick or Treating: Malfoy Style
by NutPea16
Summary: ((DMHG)) Every year, on one specific date, Hermione has to put up with Draco's stupid pranks. Because every year. . . On one specific date . . . Draco would much rather trick than treat. Rated M so far just in case. Set where magic doesn't exist. Review nicely if you enjoyed! *chuu*
1. Prologue

**It's getting closer to that time of year, guys! . . . No not Christmas, sadly . . .**

**Halloween! So I thought I'd do a short story (like 3 chapters) for you guys, because I'm so lovely (_)**

**sorry this chapter is so short but . . . Enjoy!**

**Trick or Treating: Malfoy Style**

If there is anything I hate more, it's Halloween.

Oh, I don't mind the dressing up or the giving out of sweets. Not at all. It's the silly pranks that I have to be the victim of.

The pranker? Why, of course, none other than Draco Malfoy.

I woke up in my bed this morning . . . Alone.

My suspicions were obviously on high alert after that.

You must be thinking, 'Oh Hermione, it can't be that bad,' or 'You're probably just overreacting,'

No.

Draco Malfoy becomes satan on Halloween.

Last year, he set my hair on fire.

_It was an accident_ he says. Bullshit, he did it on purpose.

You know spitballs? He lit one on fire and it landed in my hair . . . And he thought it would be a good idea to not inform me of this. As a result, the top of my head now feels slightly like a birds nest.

You wanna know what else he thought was _hilarious_? He switched my shampoo for some hair removal cream. He literally emptied my brand new shampoo bottle and filled it with hair removal cream.

No, nothing happened to me . . . Thank god.

Poor Scorpius had to go bald for a month though. It wasn't funny at the time but looking back . . . He did look pretty strange. I know I shouldn't laugh but come on . . .

I was washing my boy's hair when it started to come out in huge clumps. I've never panicked so much in my life! I lifted Scorpius out of the bath and I ran to Draco as I bawled. He just started laughing at me! Here I thought that our baby boy was dying and he was just rolling on the floor, practically in tears.

When he told me the truth, I could've hexed his balls off!

This year, it's going to _a lot_ different.

This year, it's time to get even.

- B. R. E. A. K. -

I rubbed my eyes as I walked into the bathroom, still waking up from my afternoon nap. I smirked as I remembered the plans I had for Granger today. She is gonna _love_ me today. Just like she always does on this special occasion.

I looked in the mirror and I saw something strange. Is that me? No . . . Hermione must've put a spell on the mirror . . .

I raise my hand to feel my face and I froze.

Fur.

What . . . The . . . _Fuck_?!

I move my hand and I feel my mouth . . . Huge buck teeth were hanging over my bottom lip.

I still couldn't believe what I was seeing in the mirror.

I continue to move my hand to my ears . . . My long, floppy ears.

This was the last straw.

"Granger!" I shout with fury.

A few seconds later, I hear a poorly-attempted stifled snort behind me. I turn around and I become face to face with a red-faced Granger. She was red because she was obviously trying to contain herself.

"The fuck is _this_!?" I ask as I motion towards my face. If anything, this only caused her to laugh even more.

"Don't be such an _ass_, Malfoy" she said before doubling-over in a fit of giggles. Obviously finding her little joke hystrical.

Scorpius walked into the room and looked at me confused. He made his way over to Hermione and asked, as much as we could decipher anyway, "Mummy, why does daddy look like a donkey?"

"Daddy was ju-"

"Mummy decided to play a silly joke, one that she'll _undo right now_" I say the last bit through gritted teeth.

Without removing her little spell, Hermione picked up Scorpius and went to leave the room.

In the doorway, she turned to face me with a smirk, "I think after these past few years of hell, a little payback won't hurt,"

Without another word, she left the room.

I stood there for a few seconds, pondering on what she meant when it hit me.

A wide grin spread across my face.

You wanna play Granger? Fine, let's play.


	2. Chapter 1 - Morning

**I'm so sorry it's been so long! I have been so busy that I haven't had anytime! Forgive me x Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I think this will be mostly Draco's P.O.V but we'll see how it goes x I'm loving thinking of new pranks to use x Feel free to give me any ideas guys! (^_^)**

**Chapter 1**

**Breakfast**

"Draco Malfoy!" I shout angrily as I storm into the living room. I watch as the two boys look from me to each other and burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny!" I yell with a stomp of my foot, "What is it with you and my hair?!"

I frown as I feel a thick glob of the slimy substance make its way down the middle of my face. Draco stands up and walks over to me with a smirk. Using his finger, he wiped away the green liquid.

"Suits you," he joked as he brushed the same finger into my hair. I swat his hand away and storm upstairs into the bathroom for a shower.

Let me explain what happened as I'm sure you're all dying to know . . .

After my little prank this morning, which I had so much fun doing, Draco decided on a little bit of revenge . . . Which I should've seen coming to be honest.

I was making breakfast in the kitchen and just as I opened the cupboard to get some cereal for Scorpius . . . A bucket fell onto my head.

It wasn't just _a_ bucket, no. It was a bucket full of green paint mixed with, what I think and refuse to believe, was dead insects.

For a few seconds, I stood frozen in shock at what had just happened.

At this point, after quickly wiping my face, I was beyond rage.

And you know what happens next . . .

Anyway, I finish stripping off my clothes, shivering slightly as the cold paint begins to dribble down my back. I enter the shower and as I wash my body and hair (especially my hair) I think of ways to get back at Draco. It also makes me think how glad I am that Scorpius isn't old enough for this sort of thing . . . Yet.

As I just finish rinsing my hair for the thirds time, an evil thought struck and I grin evilly to myself.

Laugh while you can Draco, it's my turn now and payback can be a bitch.

- B. R. E. A. K. -

As Scorpius finished eating his toast (since the cereal got destroyed), I look at the clock and I realize that I have to get ready for work. I sigh as I get up, making sure that Scorpius was fine By himself before I left the room.

I didn't feel satisfied about my little plan this morning, I felt like I could've done better.

Still, her face was hilarious.

She doesn't know it but it was actually Scorpius's idea to put in dead insects. What do you know? The kid has a part of my personality after all.

I made my way upstairs and I entered the bedroom. Hermione was sitting in front of her mirror, towel drying her hair.

"For me? Oh, you shouldn't have" I tease as I watch her fumble with the towel to cover herself. Honestly, she acts like I've never seen her naked before . . .

"What do you want?" She asks, flustered after all that movement.

"I have a job to get ready for you know," I reply, rolling my eyes.

I walk over to the bed and I become suspicious when I notice that my work clothes were already laid out.

"Hey . . . Uh . . . Did you put these out?" I ask as I look at her questioningly,

"Draco, I love you but even I have better things to do than sort out your clothes, " She replies as I tut at her remark, "Besides, you put them out this morning"

I did? I look over at the clothes again . . . I can't remember doing something like that. My memory is getting terrible.

With a shrug, I decided to change my underwear first. Unlike Hermione, I don't mind changing in front her so she shouldn't have been surprised when I dropped my pants.

"Do you mind?" She asks.

I turn around and face her, my bottom half naked and I enjoy watching her face flush.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," I state as I remove my top. I was standing stark in front of her but Hermione wouldn't look at me.

Typical.

She's a lady on the outside but a total slut in the bedroom. Probably all that pent up frustration she's held for so many years. Who can blame her? I mean, look at me.

But hey, I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining _at all_.

Anyway, I slip on the clean underwear that was on the bed when I suddenly felt strange. I adjusted my boxers and it felt even more odd. It felt . . . Wet.

I look at Hermione, who was still looking away, and I noticed that her shoulders were quivering slightly.

What the hell is she up to?

"Hermione," I state firmly and I hear a slight snort. The devilish woman was trying to hold in her laughter.

I tried to walk over to her but I immediately halted on the spot when I felt something pull against my manhood. I hissed slightly and Hermione turned to face me.

"It worked . . . Oh my god . . ." She mumbled with a slight snicker.

Worked? What the hell is sh-

I suddenly realized why Hermione was so secretive . . . She's pranked me hasn't she?

Oh, God . . . Of all the places! Please, tell me not there.

"What did you do?" I ask with a glare,

"Nothing . . ." She replies with an innocent smile, "You know, those boxers don't suit you . . . Here, have this pa-"

"No one is going to see them so does it really matter?" I ask, my suspicions rising even more. I was trying to figure out what exactly she has done.

"Fine, suit yourself," she says with a shrug.

After a moment of silence, I curse as I let my self-consciousness get the better of me and I snatch a new pair of boxers from my drawer.

In a fit of anger, I pushed down my current underwear . . . At least, I tried to. I could've cried as I almost tore my skin. My pants were literally wouldn't come off.

"What's wrong, Draco? Are you a little . . . _Stuck_?" She asks with a smirk, one perfectly plucked eyebrow arching.

I quickly open my hands and I catch the object that she through at me. I carefully read the label and panic starts to set in after each word.

No . . . No, no, _no_!

The words '_Instant superglue_' and '_Waterproof_' stood out like a sore thumb. I looked down at my crotch and I didn't dare move.

"What's wrong, Draco? You look like you've seen a ghost" She states with an evil glint in her eyes,

"You glued my underwear?!" I yell in disbelief, "Are you _insane_?!"

"You need to learn a lesson" Hermione states as she crosses her arms,

"For what?!" I ask, still shouting, "A few harmless pranks?! Hermione, this is beyond a prank! My dick is in danger here!"

Hermione sniggered as I was fully panicking. I was late for work but I didn't care, my family jewels were more important at this moment.

"Shame," was her final sarcastic word before she left the room fully dressed and leaving me with my problem.

I grip my hair in frustration as I try and think a solution.

I slowly and carefully walk over to the dressing table. We should have some glue softener around here somewhere . . . Come on, _come on_ . . . Aha! Found it. Relief washed over me as I fumbled to open the lid.

At first, I began to worry when none came out of the tube. Determined, I squeezed the tube as hard as I could and I was lucky to have some left.

I quickly smother my entire member with the softener. I was proud of myself for coming up with a solution so quickly . . . If only it was Granger doing this.

Uh-oh. I shouldn't have thought of that . . .

- B. R. E. A. K. -

Don't you just love traffic? . . .

I had arrived home after dropping Scorpius off at nursery. I have to pick him up again in a few hours since it's my day off. It's usually Ginny or Harry and they babysit him until we finish working.

I think back to this morning and I wonder how Draco was doing.

Did I go overboard? . . . No. After 3 years of his endless annoying games, I think I served some justice.

I notice that Draco's shoes are still by the door. Knowing him, he'd probably found a way to unstick himself so shouldn't he be at work by now?

I walk into the living room and I find that he isn't in there. Huh, strange . . . Where could he be?

I decide to check the bedroom but before I opened the door, I could hear some muffled noises.

Confused, I slowly turn the doorknob and I quietly open the door.

I gasped at what I saw which caused Draco to halt what he was doing.

"Uh . . . This isn't what it looks like," He said,

"Really? 'Cause it looks like you're masturbating to me," I reply as I fold my arms,

" . . . Okay, it's exactly what it looks like," He mumbled, his hand still in his pants, "But I can explain,"

"Oh, no need. I completely understand." I say, raising my hands. I notice a bit of lace sticking out of the top of his boxers, "That better not be what I think it is . . ."

Draco laughed sheepishly, "Uh . . . No . . . "

"You're using my underwear as wank material!?" I ask, raising my voice,

"In my defense, you do wear some pretty sexy things," he replied.

His flattery did nothing to calm me down . . . Okay, it did. I'm a sucker for compliments.

"It's your fault, anyway," Draco continued, "I was . . . Unsticking myself when I thought of you and your hands and naturally I . . . Got erect . . . "

I grin as I walk over to him with a sway in my hips. I crawl up the bed until I'm eye level with his crotch.

I gently blow on the exposed skin and then I quickly get up on off the bed, much to Draco's disappointment.

"I would _love_ to help you Draco," I say as I roll my eyes at his glare, "But you don't deserve it so . . . Finish yourself off. I'm going to go read"

I left the room before I could be on the receiving end of Draco's shouts.

- B. R. E. A. K. -

Damn Granger, that conniving witch!

I'd just finished showering and I called up work to explain why I wasn't coming in.

Heh, they're so gullible. Do I sound sick?

With a scoff and fully dressed (after double and triple checking my clothes for more glue . . . ) I went downstairs and on the sofa was a sleeping little angel.

Let me rephrase that, on the sofa was satan . . . Okay, I'm exaggerating but whatever . . .

After 3 years of god awful mischief, Hermione Granger finally caved.

I looked at her peaceful sleeping face.

Rest while you can Granger, I'm just getting started.


	3. AN

I'd just like to apologize for the late uploads recently. If you guys would just take a few seconds to read my explanation of why I haven't uploaded anything yet on my profile page then I hope you guys will understand (^_^)

I'm sorry if this annoys you guys!.

I'd also like to take a second to say thanks for the all follows, favourites and reviews! You guys are awesome!

Don't worry though, I am also still going to complete this story, it just might take a while (^_^)


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